Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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