You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
