Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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