So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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