I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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