No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
