A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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