So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
