youre lurking in front of me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
