my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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