your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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