just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
