I look better un-naked...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
