im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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