even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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