i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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