I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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