You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
