I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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