So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
