it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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