Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
