Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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