Got a toothbrush?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
