3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
