Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
