thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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