im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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