weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
