my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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