Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
