awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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