I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize