My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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