you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
