two words...techno handjob
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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