i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
