No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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