This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
