I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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