worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
