His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
