Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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