I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Randomize
