"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
