took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
