He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize