fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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