Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
