Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
