I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
