Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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