Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
