OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
