i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
