Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
