Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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