I love black thongs
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
