One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
