I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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