So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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