hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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