forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
