Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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