I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
