allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
