She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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